Everything you wanted to know (but were afraid to ask) about S&M.
If you can’t control yourself—your vices, your emotions, your tendency to act out—you cannot control another person. You are too weak and self-indulgent to control another. All submissives, even the best, resist control at times. Dealing with that resistance in a way that encourages good behavior in the submissive and helps to train her to be a better submissive and a happier person means realizing from the start that your submissive’s actions, however you may dislike them, are not about You. They are, rather, about her problems with submitting. Learning not to respond narcissistically, with anger, personal affront, hurt, or defensiveness when she behaves in a resisting or manipulative way, is part of self-control. Instead of overreacting, a self-controlled Dominant will rationally and over time devise workable strategies based on his intimate knowledge of his submissive that discourage the behavior and attitudes he dislikes.
Power is of two kinds. One is obtained by the fear of punishment and the other by acts of love. Power based on love is a thousand times more effective and permanent then the one derived from fear of punishment.
To submit to another, one must know themselves and trust themselves, as well as trust the one that they submit to. They must feel safe and secure in their environment, whether it be real life or simply an online experience.
Submission, to many is about being controlled, about being dominated in all ways, to have their every decision made for them. To seek this out is to open ones self to being taken and possibly hurt until there is a click. To find the One that fits, you must find an initial connection, build a trust and relationship that is not built from the interactions of a Dominant and submissive. To find the One that is your missing piece can be a lifelong journey for some, and some will never find that, they will bounce from relationship to relationship, seeking the missing link.
This should be what you are looking for as your missing link should you truly want to be submissive..on that subject be aware that there are also different types of submissives…there are submissives, slaves…and pets…you should research to see which one most fits who you are and what you yearn to become…
When you do find the right Dom, you will know because to submit to Him will be natural, easy, and wonderful. When you know you will cherish the exchange and the learning each other, one day at a time, one conversation at a time. You should and will have a connection outside of the D/s realm that strengthens your bond as Master and slave. But it will not be perfect, nothing is ever perfect. You need to cement the trust to make things work….
And I wish you all the best of luck.
Honesty is crucial in any relationship. The relationship between a dominatrix and a submissive is a particular type of relationship and the rapport between the two parties is unique. However, the in order to build a healthy relationship between the dominatrix and submissive it must have honesty, clear and open communication, and respect…
CLICK ON THE LINK AND READ MORE
From fervidm’s blog
I’m feeling particularly feisty today…a delightful post I wrote a while ago before this blog existed.
I love a man with manners, but respect is more important in the bedroom. The female obsession with Fifty Shades of Grey is basically the cry out for the good fuck that women don’t know how to ask for. It’s quite simple really. Women are sick of taking care of you. They are sick of having to take the lead in your everyday life. They are always in control. They want you to show them that you still know how to make their thighs tremble. You are not a dependent little boy. She wants to know that you can take her as passionately as she imagines the man next door could.
Does this scene sound familiar: You are tired from a hard day of work. You struggle to get dinner on the table within a reasonable time before you need to go to bed. You are already preparing yourself for tomorrow’s work day. You are exhausted, but there is a reasonable part of you that recognizes that you haven’t had sex with your partner in a while. You proceed to get ready for bed and climb under the covers…clothed. You turn on the television and settle in, your arm pressed snugly against the side of your partner’s body. You don’t say much, but you begin to kiss or touch each other in a somewhat suggestive manner. You can pretty much predict the routine that will follow. He will follow the same “pleasure trail” as usual. Right breast…Left breast…a little fondling…he’ll trace a line down your stomach in simple, meek kisses. He’ll pay some oral attention to you, assuming it’s pleasurable. He’ll assume his spectacular oral skills are making you wet, when in reality, it’s just his saliva. You don’t make much effort toward him, because you have a headache. You then have approximately 3 to 5 minutes of sex resembling the pace of a metronome. If you’re lucky, you’ll cum. But, you’re not really concerned with this anyway…because…well, you have a headache. Plus, you know he’ll keep going in his sad attempt to satisfy you if you don’t lie about it.
You’re a timid bunch, gentleman. The world has emasculated you. Sure, you may not be 18 anymore; but, you still have the glorious effects of that surging testosterone. Most women agree that a man who is unapologetic in their attraction to them is a complete turn on. Stop being coy and delivering the same punches you’ve always thrown. It’s time for a new bag of tricks. It’s time for you to reclaim yourself as an alpha male. It’s time you took control in a much bigger way. I’m going to switch rolls a bit here. I will have the cock. I will successfully lay the pipe. And it goes a little something like this:
I walk in from a hard day of work. Throughout the day, I’ve envisioned all the many ways I was going to make you surrender to me. I pictured myself with a handful of your blond hair, shoving myself deep into your mouth. You’d be staring up at me, and this would give me a sense of elevation. You are always telling me what to do. I am always asking for your permission. I imagine you, face down, and leaned over the kitchen counter with your legs spread. I am deep inside you, and with every thrust, you are pushed against the cool countertop making your nipples hard.
I watch you make dinner. I admire your curves. I envision the positions I’m going to put you in when we go upstairs…when everyone is asleep. We finish with the mundane tasks of our evening and head upstairs. You’re at the sink beginning to wash your face. I come up behind you. I take my hand and run it up the back of your head, grabbing a significant handful of hair. I pull the hair downward, exposing your neck. You’d expect me to go there next, but I don’t. I proceed to spread your legs apart and penetrate you with my fingers. I keep the grip on your hair, tugging a little with every thrust of my fingers. I push you face down onto the counter, with my fingers still inside you; I pull your ass up to meet my face. I tongue you from behind. Not too much. Just enough. I turn you around and hold your face within my hands at my waist level. I bend down to grab your breasts. I am just delicate enough to not bruise you. I’d part your lips with my thumb, opening your mouth and rub the head of my cock on your lips. You suck me in. You wouldn’t be shy about it because I wouldn’t let you. I sense you’re beginning to enjoy yourself, so I stand you back up. I aggressively grab your hips and bend you in half. I thrust into you. I don’t proceed gently. I take a free hand and grasp your shoulder to enable me to penetrate you deeper. I finger your clit while I’m inside of you. My strokes are long and deep. I hold my cock inside of you and feel you clench around me. I fuck you ridiculously, furiously and barbarically. I pull out. I have to taste you. I have to taste “us”. I lift you onto the countertop and spread your legs in front of me. I kneel in front of you and bury my face in your sex. I nibble on your lips and flatten my tongue, rubbing it along your clit from side to side. I bring you to climax. Before you recover, I put myself back in your mouth. You attempt to resist, but I only want you to know how good you taste. We stumble toward the bed, and I lay you on your back. I enter you and fuck you so deeply, you’d swear I was trying to part you in half. Your nails are digging deep into my back, your face buried in my chest. With each thrust, I bring you closer to the edge of the bed. Your head and upper body are draped over the edge, and I watch your tits bounce with each thrust. You struggle to brace yourself and I grab the tops of your thighs and penetrate you deeper. You feel every kick of my orgasm. I pull you back onto the bed and lay on top of you, remaining inside of you. You are not allowed to clean up. I stay inside you until I start to soften. When I pull out, I watch our passion trickle out of you. I watch your body rise and fall with each exacerbated breath. Exhaustion will claim us both shortly and this is the last vision I want to have before it does.
This does not have to be a fantasy. This is not a passage from a book. Don’t allow me to fuck your women better than you do…
Fuck Fifty Shades of Grey…
I’m not a sub but I may be seduced by this master by the way he write. Do you know that you can seduce women with words? Done!
That’s hard stuff! (about the pic)
Experience gives people a different outlook on life. I for one don’t think the same things as I did when I was 18 that I do now, for instance I understand that leadership is not about barking orders, it’s so much more than that.
I know my thoughts have moved towards those of my Master, I understand what he would expect of me in most given situations, but I am still able to think for myself, I am aware of my surroundings more than ever, but that being said I cannot stop random thoughts of handbags and shoes popping into my mind at any given moment. I have given myself to my Master mind-body and soul, but I am still the individual he fell in love with.
I am more than capable of holding a proper conversation with anyone, I have thoughts and opinions of my own. I don’t need…
View original post 150 more words