PORN ADDICTION IS SHE ALSO MANIFESTS SOCIETY?
Yes, unfortunately! Pornography does not just broadcast images of bodies having sex. It also conveys a whole social discourse on women.
Porn likes to show indeed docile women subject to human desires, as devoid of free will. They are presented such as décébrées dolls, sex body to consume. Perpetually available, the daughter porn likes to be brutalized, that the tortures. This is the underlying discourse of pornography
The occasional user will distinguish between these representations and reality. But the dependent, fed by this imagery, will internalize this speech. His addiction does not stop at the screen of the PC or on the last page of the magazine X: it will also have social implications.
1. The permanent perception of women as sex objects
OCCURRENCE OF THE PHENOMENON: OFTEN
This drift is standard, and unfortunately logic. The dependent projects on women pornographic fantasies embedded in his mind. Porn claims to him that any woman would be primarily a sexual object to covet.
Thus, the young woman cross the street, the office colleague, sometimes members of his own family, become material in the formulation of pornographic fantasies. The addict becomes unable to look at a pretty woman, without having to develop unconsciously in his mind a pornographic schematic. All forms of social relations may have, are tainted by pornography.
Beyond the alteration of sexuality, as discussed above, it almost forget that his interlocutors are human beings, not sex machines designed for the only male pleasure.
In addition, our modern world is extremely eroticized: the female body shows often stripped to, in advertisements, on TV … If an average person can remain indifferent, or are projecting a mere admiration visions will all electroshock for the dependent.
It is important to understand that this internalization is suffered. In over 99% of cases, the dependent is not a sadist nor a “bad guy.” He never asked to be assailed by such images. This situation is very resented by the addict, who feel like a monster, a sort of perverse features double uncontrollable personality.
2. The weaker dependent on itself
OCCURRENCE OF THE PHENOMENON: OFTEN
Porn addiction tends to isolate the individual. Several reasons for this.
Pornography use is a time-consuming activity, like all those prone to addiction. The dependent connects to a site X “ten minutes”, believing themselves able to control himself. Then, from site to site, from page to page, the length of his surfing goes, sometimes for up to several hours. He realizes that eventually, it is not so much other things “that” its relaxation.
However, pornography consumption is an extremely solitary activity, very few capable of generating social interactivity. Indeed, one meets people surfing sites X or watching porn videos for hours. This also applies to dependent type II or III, seeking interaction with virtual models (type II) or real (type III). In both cases, the report is flawed because it is based solely on a commercial exchange: I pay for a body, so the body engages me. The exchange does not exist beyond this relationship to money.
Finally, some addicts will simply lose the taste for “something else.” Constantly asked by their impulses, they lose all desire for any activity that would not bring their sexual satisfecit. Going out with friends, romantic moments … all this loses a lot of appeal to them. Those live porn, day to day, even when they consume more.
3. Difficulty establish emotional contact or experience feelings love
OCCURRENCE OF THE PHENOMENON: SOMETIMES
Also observed occasionally in dependent who began to consume X teenager or child, difficulty in forming lasting emotional contact with females. Having trouble surpass fantasies invading at the sight of a pretty woman, they experience many difficulties in identifying feelings in them that could hide behind this outburst instinctual. In practice, this can generate two types of behaviors:
– Some addicts confuse feelings and sexual urges. They “love to sleep” or “sleep to love.” They feel they “miss something” because they do not feel “fully in love” with their partner, mainly appreciated for its sexual potential. They somehow feel not to love “as it should be.”
– Other addicts feel not being able to love someone because they do not reach beyond the simple instinctual feelings. The emergence of feelings requires an ability to be able to look to another otherwise than on his sexual potential. What the porn, which was often the only sex education pornoaddicts, has not taught them! So, these dependent will literally feel miss love, of being unable to love someone. Their existence is often marked by great loneliness, and marked by a sense of abnormality.
Our sexual identity begins to build in adolescence, from the images and representations of our community. The pornoaddicts teenagers had their early sexual imagery polluted by pornography, even before a different discourse is presented to them. They are prisoners of pornographic images, simply because no one else was offered to them when they were young. As adults, they find it extremely difficult to “make adjustments” and appreciate someone for who he is, not just for his “sexual potential”
This phenomenon, previously fairly marginal, now becoming more widespread with the trivialisation of porn from the public child and adolescent. Porn is one of the standards teen years 2000 and 2010. It now produces generations of pornodépendants, which it is urgent to give a mixed message so that they, as adults, their full potential.
If you yourself are parents of a teenager pornodépendant, I invite you to read the article “Addressing the issue of pornography with a teenager.” You will understand the importance of developing with your offspring, critical thinking on such matters.
TESTIMONY OF BRET DEPENDENT DURING WITHDRAWAL, 09 AOUT 2011
“I started watching porn and masturbating very early, at the age of 10, after finding porno magazines with me … I am now 28! (…) J ‘have long suffered from addiction, and I think she is the main responsible for the huge lack of confidence I have towards women and people I do not know (…) I have a girlfriend 6 months ago but I absolutely do not manage to feel feelings when she is in love and I think it makes her suffer. (…) I feel totally devoid of any feeling towards her but also to anyone else. Sometimes it seems like I feel more in watching a movie or listening to music that having an interaction with a human being and it really scares me (…) ”
TESTIMONY OF toto29, DEPENDENT DURING WITHDRAWAL, February A July 2011
[22 February 2011] “I have no feeling and I can not have them. I’m already in love but it was before I knew porn.”
[May 01 2011] “It’s going to be very long as I do not feel more feeling for a girl (…) I am depressed because of that”
[3 July 2011] “I think it feels more feelings because we are fully self ourselves, our sexual imagination is not the same as a non-dependent, it is not as rewarding and creative. I still remember the imagination that was 100 times better now my imagination is like porn movies ”
[25 July 2011] “I still had feelings for 12 years, but my only female contact was porn, and only in these sex videos were through, there were no love. I think I see the woman as an object of pleasure, that’s all. I noticed that when there are girls my age in the street I do not know, I’m stressed, mixed with anxiety, I guess it ‘is because of my addiction ”
Testimonials from the http://www.pornodependance.com Forum
4. The tendency to procrastinate
OCCURRENCE OF THE PHENOMENON: OFTEN
Procrastination is the fact for an individual to put off what could be done now, in favor of passive activities and / or devoid of responsibility. For example, prefer to watch TV instead of dealing with important paperwork, surf the Internet all night instead of doing homework, etc.
Psychoanalysis says procrastination by an unconscious will of the individual, away tasks deemed unpleasant, but also the resulting commitment or risk. The individual who procrastinates can not fulfill his desires, or to achieve the motivation to want to achieve (13) However, pornography naturally tends to lower the level of interest invidus for activities devoid of a sexual nature. This disinvestment phenomenon is observed in all forms of substance abuse (eg adolescents using cannabis, and the quality of school work is in free fall)
The pornodépendant will tend to wander from site to site, aimlessly, instead of fussing with more important tasks and more urgent. What is ironic is that the procrastinator do not particularly feel pleasure in this waste of time. Usually it ends up regretting the lost hours … and yet falls rapidly through the same.
One of the first sensations coming with weaning, is the feeling of “rebirth”. For weaned suddenly while gaining new importance. Weaned found interest in activities that previously seemed to him grunt. It comes gradually procrastination, and reinvests in projects that are dear to him.
5. Sexuality seen as an end in itself – the predatory attitude
OCCURRENCE OF THE PHENOMENON: LITTLE FREQUENT
Pornography says immediacy of sexuality. The bodies of the actors and actresses are always available. There is no seduction, no challenge, no affection report. Any social relationship – the visit of the plumber, the coming of the factor or tele store, the evening with friends – are the single purpose of that sex. Lean comedy scenes no longer need to be credible, since the purpose is unique and known avance.C’est the triumph of consumer Sexuality: I want this body, I am this body. Everything about sex is not a waste of time, obstructing “purchase”.
Some addicts who have not yet realized their addiction, and not considering the relationships with the opposite sex that from the angle of sexual satisfaction. They will give priority to their interlocutors get a favorable response to their requests. Otherwise, they will lose interest very quickly and go try their luck elsewhere (predation Attitude)
Search first physical satisfaction before an emotional satisfaction, is in is not shocking, as this choice stems from a free consent of the partners. (9) And that is where lies the heart of the problem! The predatory attitude is especially held by addicts attending “serious” dating sites. They sy face women, they are looking for a more engaging relationship. Hoping to get their way, so they will hide their original intentions. The “relationship”, the terms are skewed from the outset, is doomed to failure.
Furthermore, where the dependent predator wants to move on, he realizes that he has great difficulty to invest in a lasting relationship. Just because pornography has not taught him any other behavior patterns. All this time, sometimes years to seek “sex”, do not have him learn how to get involved in a relationship.