What is the classic pattern of addiction?

WHAT IS THE CLASSIC PATTERN OF ADDICTION?

The vicious circle or spiral addictive schematically follows the four phases of any addiction. However, according to the researchers, the phases are described in more or less close.

Phase 1: excitement

The (future) depending feels attracted to pornography, for reasons mentioned above. He begins to conceptualize fantasies (sexual descriptions, exciting scenarios of expected focus on sexual partners, etc.) that will seek to find in pornography. Or, if he has no prior fantastical universe, it moves into position to make his own, one that will impose pornography. In both cases, a link is created between the fantasy world of the addict, and the one presented by pornography.

Phase 2: the consumption

The addict goes to porn sites to satisfy his sexual fantasies. Over time, his research always lead further, more hard, more pictures, more violence.

Consumption is accompanied in most cases masturbation, resulting from sexual arousal caused by pornography. Some addicts come as such to masturbate several times a day compulsively, that is a lot more automation and necessity than jamboree.

Phase 3: disgust

Once the initial excitement down, the consumer often feels a form of disgust, vis-à-vis ashamed of himself. In fact, he wants to feel excited by the vision of abused women, degraded. He also wants to not feel strong enough to fight against his instincts. The addict then comprises its consumption is compulsive.

Phase 4: the addictive return

When the excitement it deserves, the addict feels the need to get excited again. It thus falls in phase 1, despite his disgust into phase 3.
In the long run, it also has problems controlling his consumption time: the “just 10 minutes” become twenty minutes, then three quarters of an hour, etc. Others will consume pornographic material on their workplace or school (5)

The awareness of the severity of the addiction comes in. Depending on circumstances, the pornodépendant internalize his problem, shame or impotence. Others, and they are right, try to talk or to seek information.

Phase 5 (optional phase): the passage to the act

In some cases, a fifth stage can be added, that of the “transition to the act.”

Addicts are often overwhelmed by their own sexual arousal.
In a number of cases, this will lead to acting out in the real world. These passages to the act are as much effusion desperate attempts of instinctual thirst.
The acting out can take different forms:
– Research adulterous relationships (fantasy of parallel relationship)
– Search multiple sexual partners (the idea of a quest for endless fantasies), to the detriment of any stable emotional construction.
– A passage to the crime: the number of rapists and pedophiles acknowledge having used pornographic material before moving on to the act (10) and have wanted to do “like in the movies.”
Also, it is important to remember that the use of liveshows services or cam X, is comparable to a passage to the act: the dependent establish a real connection with someone, who is going to strip for him, according to the orders he will personally give him. The two “partners” masturbate their separate ways; but they each recognize the presence of the other, and have their excitation or their interest in this presence.

All about erotic fantasies!

ALL ABOUT FANTASIES!

Just close your eyes and imagine yourself doing love with a star or with your neighbor (e) bearing. So what? Is it serious doctor? Should we speak of his fantasies to your partner? Take action?

1 – What is an erotic fantasy?

Fantasies It is a product of the imagination whose evocation arouses sexual emotion. It often comes down to the fantasy erotic scenes seen or imagined that one likes to board on his personal screen. But the fantasy can also be an idea, a feeling, a feeling. Fantasies are not just sex, they can exist in all areas that arouse the desires and pleasures of men.

2 – Where do the fantasies?

That’s because they are in direct contact with our psyche that sexual fantasies have such power of excitement. They include the fulfillment of unconscious desires more or less distorted by defensive psychic processes. The unconscious desire which is expressed as is often unrecognizable. To understand the significance of a fantasy psychoanalytic work of introspection is needed.

Some people think that erotic fantasies are created from scenes views or experienced in adolescence or later. This is probably partly true. In fact, if such an image or such experience becomes the content of a fantasy for someone, it’s because this representation expresses distorted way but still satisfying one of his unconscious desires.

3 – Everyone he has erotic fantasies?

It’s a bit like dreams. Everyone dreams, but dreams do not always come in the morning to the consciousness of the sleeper. The imagination of everyone working and therefore, every human being to fantasies. For some, the imagined scenes were not content depicting human genital sexuality, leaving them think they do not have sexual fantasies. Their desire is expressed through scenes where feelings and relationships are predominant.

4 – Should we tell her fantasies to your partner?

Ask the question already shows that this is not automatic … With his spouse, it is obvious to talk about his past, his family, but these fantasies … There is something else. Our fantasies are from intimate parts of our being, uncover is to expose representations that we do not always understand. While we may want to talk to be closer to each other. Wanting to hear his spouse know him better. But as the significance of the fantasies is not easily accessible, misunderstanding and discomfort may result. Except perhaps if you share the same fantasies. But nothing is certain! In this area no single answer; everyone feel limits and those of his partner.

5 – Should realize his sexual fantasies?

Again, there is no universal answer. Each according to his problem and what it is, will be a report of its own with that part of himself.

You have never thought of, and this seems impossible. In consideration of your modesty, your fantasies themselves, you do not see the point. Your sexuality satisfy you and if there are problems you think the solution lies elsewhere.
You are right. To fantasies have their place in your imagination only, and there is no reason to change this;
You will have thought, but you’re not sure (e) of the result. Does the excitement will be present? Is it fun for your partner? Do you hesitate? So before any talk in together. Your hesitation is probably due to the impressions you feel unable to name them. Trust your intuition. We can not play with his fantasies lightly;
You’ve already done and you are very happy (e). The question does not arise for you. But if you always ask here is that the realization of your fantasies did not bring that can be fun, but a pleasure mixed with uneasiness. Take the time to stop by.
6 – Are cultural fantasies?

The surveys indicate that our fantasies fantasies take images of our time and our civilization to form. But beyond this background now no study has focused on what motivates fantasies. Are game issues common to humanity?

7 – Should we worry about fantasize during sex on another partner than his?

There is never need to worry of a fantasy. But the misunderstanding is often a source of fear. The fantasy is the deformed realization of an unconscious desire. Because of this distortion is often impossible at first to grasp what it means to fantasy. In addition to the same fantasy the meaning may be different from one person to another. So if you dream of being in the arms of a (an) other at the time of lovemaking is no doubt that this is something for you, but not necessarily that your desire is to live your sexuality with that person !dropoff window The man or woman with whom you are in reality is still that or that you have chosen! If your fantasy disturbs you more than it excites you, meet a therapist to talk about.

8 – Some fantasies sharply away from what we believe to be our aspirations: rape fantasies, submission, violence … Why this discrepancy?

We do not know as well as we would like to believe. Freud, with the discovery of psychoanalysis has allowed us to glimpse a world we ignore: our unconscious, unknown place of psychic awareness. Through our fantasies, our repressed desires more or less distorted speak. They are rooted in the complexity of our childhood experiences and processes that led to the formation of our personality.

The monumental gap that can exist between our conscious desires and those behind our fantasies is not surprising, because if these desires were turned away is because they are incompatible with the way we design. If these fantasies appear is that the barrier erected so that they do not disturb the conscious life is not completely sealed but still sufficient for our unconscious desires are confined to the world of imagination.

9 – When fantasy becomes obsessive, they think about night and day, how to get rid? In the staging? Trying not to think about it?

In this case, the problem is not to be taken lightly. If it makes you suffer and disrupts your life, you have to take the means to explore this fantasy, understand its deeper meaning.

Realize it will sometimes take away from the strength, but the issue at stake will not be solved so far and is likely to invest in another disruptive event.

Then consult a psychothérateute-psychoanalyst. It should allow you to access what you unconsciously express through your fantasy and free yourself.

10 – Some more than others fantasies disturb: pedophile fantasies sadistic scenarios desires of physical mutilation, etc … Should we be afraid?

When his fantasies far removed from the standards, the individual sees a sign of abnormality. Am I normal? Do I not take action? He does not understand and is careful to mention it for fear of being rejected. In fact, these fantasies out standards do not differ in their constitution most innocuous fantasies. They express unconscious desires more or less distorted by defensive processes. There are probably not more likely to take action than other fantasies. But the situation is more dangerous. Consulting a professional is needed. With his help, the individual can access the deeper meaning of his fantasies. That is to say, connect to its history, its psychic conflicts.

Decryption of abnormal sexual practices

DESCRYPTION OF ABNORMAL SEXUAL PRACTICES

To break the monotony of the couple, sadomasochism and swinging out of the shadows. To learn more about these practices once taboo, Associate Professor of Sociology at the University of Toulouse and specialist in social construction of sexuality.

 While the visual codes of swinging and masochism invade the small screen and advertisements, they concern many people?

These practices more and more people. Additionally some extension fantasies, couples now have the opportunity “to go.” While a few years ago, Swingers was practiced by some tribes and remained a very closed environment, there is now the opportunity for all through the door of a club.

This does not even touch all social classes but tends to democratize. Thus, it is known that at the end of some union congress in Paris, some colleagues go to swingers clubs, as before they would “go to whores.”

Features are we today proportions of French followers Swinger?

The latest figures from the national survey on sexuality French dates from 1992: a time when the phenomenon was almost clandestine and was facing underreporting related methodology (interview by phone ) .drop-off window Judging by the surveys we conducted in our research unit there are 5 or 6 years, I estimated that 300 to 400 000 swingers in France. If we include couples who go to see when we can easily double these figures.

What are the motivations of these couples?

They are many: breaking the monotony of the couple, to please his partner, having fun together, do not do as mom and dad, go, etc. In fact, the same intentions are different according to one or both partners. For the first step, men often want to associate their (or) woman sexual fantasies and these tend to want to please them.

 Do we hear that despite the sexual freedom image surrounding these practices, it is a macho environment?

Yes, it remains macho environment which breeds mainly some pictures porn. The codes of swinging are female: the woman should be available to look and desire. Miniskirt, sexy neckline … she should display the look of a woman be the first to male fantasies. Thus, it is not uncommon for this atmosphere causes dissatisfaction of some, who feel that the atmosphere is not for them.